How can you have charisma? Be more concerned about making others feel good about themselves than you are making them feel good about you.
-Dan Reiland,
Executive Pastor at 12Stone Church in Lawrencevile, Georgia
I have yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than under a spirit of criticism.
-Charles Schwab, Industrialist
Are you one of those ladies that people are happier when you enter the room or leave the room? We should be the person that people want to be around. We should be passionate about life, not be self-centered, and make others feel special. We need to give people hope, if we share our faith with others and hopefully are living the life that others would want what we have as far as the peace, hope, and joy of the Lord, they will want to feel that hope too. Ladies love to relate to each other, be transparent, share your stories in an encouraging way, others may have experienced similar situations in their life, but if you can be positive, share how the joy of the Lord brought you thru it, it will give them hope. No wallflowers, we want the ladies to feel welcomed and part of the group. If we smile and are genuine and make them feel special, they will want to get involved.
ReplyDeleteThe Daily Take - Away (Pg. 7-8) speaks of Perle Mesta, the greatest Washington hostess since Dolley Madison claims, "It's all in the greetings and good-byes". Her agenda was to focus on others, not herself. That's charisma.
ReplyDeleteI like Donna Bryson's comment, "If we smile and are genuine and make them feel special, they will want to get involved.
This reminds me of two scriptures:
Romans 8:4 - That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
Also in Reflecting On It (pg.11) Christian carisma has a foundation of Godly character which comes through striving to have a pure heart. As listed Pride, Insecurity, Moodiness, Perfectionism, and Cynicism are roadblocks. II Cor. 10:18 For not he that commendeth himself is approved, but whom the Lord commendeth.
Sooo good girls...I was just going through the list of roadblocks on Kathleen's blog and so many times I can see them in myself. I know I wouldn't want to follow anyone that displays those kinds of traits so "Lord purge me of any trait that don't display godliness." 2 things John Maxwell said were "When people want to follow you, you will be able to tackle anything in this world." And..."If you think you're leading and no one is following, then you're only taking a walk." Also, about Charisma, "We should be more concerned about making others feel good about themselves than we are about making them feel good about us." Love this stuff!
ReplyDeleteAlright, I just have to say, I loved this chapter!! It was so much more encouraging and less convicting than character ha ha. =] So many good things to take away ...like...being a celebrator not a complainer, see only the good in people and let them see that you see it, be the person who bestows the gift of Hope on others, othermindedness: leaders who think about others and their concerns before thinking of themselves!!! So, So good!
ReplyDeleteOne thing I would like every one of our leaders to practice tomorrow is the "Greetings and Goodbyes". Make every women feel like we are sooo happy they showed up because in truth, it cost them something to come, both monetarily, and emotionally...even physically.
I was so glad to see what Donna wrote, "No wallflowers" she remembered! No Wallflowers tomorrow ladies. =]
This book is excellent; so glad Jody chose it for us. Thanks Jody.
Wow! I loved how EASY having charisma can be! Such clear and concise pointers! Love life, put a "10" on every person's head, give people hope, share yourself...these tips can be the difference for each of us. I loved the word "othermindedness". I know it's sometimes easier said than done. But I am going to pray for that every day. :)
ReplyDeleteI also liked the First Impression Game. If we can try to learn peoples names, focus on their interests, and treat them as a "10" for a day, then we can do it every day! Tomorrow we each need to look for someone we don't know and play this game.
And yes...I agree...no wallflowers tomorrow!!! Let's all practice our charisma!
I have to admit, this book is not my "type". But in just these first few pages I have taken away some really great pointers. Thank you, Jody, for taking me out of my box!
(am I getting revved up?!?!)
The first impression can seal the deal.... LOVE IT. This is so true. I have a tendency to not smile as much as I should. I'm smiling on the inside but just don't show it on my face. This has caused people to think I'm either, mean, cold or maybe even judging them. That is completely opposite of how I really am. Just being aware of how much we can affect someone with just that fist look is so powerful. I'm so lucky to be a part of the leadership group for the women's ministry & can't thank all of you enough. I'm so excited to see how God is going to use all of us to help women & I can't wait to work with the girls. Love you all!
ReplyDeleteI LOVED the quote at the beginning of this chapter from Charles Schwab: I have yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than under a spirit of criticism. AWESOME. I know this is true of myself, and see that it works for my kiddos as well. Another below-the-belt blow came on page 14 where I learned that insecurity, moodiness and perfectionism undermine my ability to lead. I think these character defects undermine my ability to live, and now I see how they affect my ability to lead. I'm doing other people a disservice by indulging in these behaviors. The only way I can throw off these roadblocks is to fully rely on God's uncontainable power in me.
ReplyDeleteI love inspirational testimonies of great people who have walked before us. Benjamin Franklin seamed to be totally focused on not only getting his head in the game, but becoming the game. I was excited to hear Jody refer to Albert Einstein at yesterday's meeting. Wow, talk about pushing through the labels of life. He was labeled with a learning disability at age 5. However, his mother refused to accept this bad report which caused a boy who couldn't solve a math problem to create is own methods of problem solving, becoming one of the greatest scientific minds of this age. And how about the Wright brothers? They were the laughing stock of their hometown in Dayton, Ohio when they started sowing sheets together as they were manifesting a vision that they had to birth aviation causing ordinary people to not only travel across the world at any given time, but also to inspire the unraveling of aeronautics allowing space travel, man on the moon, space station, robot on Mars, satellites, which also allows us to have the unfathomable use of cell phones, television, high speed Internet, and the list goes on. I know that I've run off on a tangent but in my own terms I believe the definition of competence means that.... "We have to think like God thinks".
ReplyDeleteAs I watched Veggie Tales, The Wizard of HAs" last night I realize I am the scarecrow without a brain, and after reading this chapter, I feel like I am not very competent at all.
ReplyDeleteBy myself I am sooo incompetent, or at least thats how I feel. But there is one thing I know for certain: My God is El Shaddai the All Sufficient One or All COMPETENT One, and where I am ever-weak He is ever-strong. So if I ever fail at anything I realize I just depended on my own competence, and If I ever succeed at anything, I realize I just depended on God's competence.
Im sorry, but this chapter left me feeling that there was a lean toward our self "getting the job done". I disagree. If we are to be competent at all, I believe it will be in the vein of, " Do all things unto the Lord and not for men..." but in His Strength, not ours. In His Complete Competence, not ours. Because apart from Him we can do nothing.
However, ha-ha, a couple of things I gleaned were: "As leaders we expect people to follow through when we hand them the ball and they expect that and a whole lot more from us as their leaders." I believe this is so true, so lets ask God to help us in our weakness, after all, He is the One who called us to the position, and He is also the One who promised us He was with us and would never leave us ( remember my talk at Christmas about God telling Mary, Moses, Joshua that he would help them and be with them?) So we can do the job with the Lord on our side and we need to because people are depending on us!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThe Second thing I got out of this was "Find three ways to improve". Good News! We are doing this by 1: Reading this book 2: Praying at our leadership meetings and 3: Making sure we have our quiet time alone with God to hear from Him. Let's see if we can find three more. =]
Sorry it took me so long to get to this...computer problems :( I was impressed by Benjamim Franklin as he graded himself daily according to a set of 13 virtues and he continuously sought ways to improve himself and others. If your not continuously growing and learning, what's the point? I know some people like this and their lives appear to be such a waste. Not to mention that they are miserable! "Hide not your talents. They for use were made. What's a sundial in the shade?" Some things to remember:
ReplyDelete1. Come ready to play everyday no matter what.
2. Keep learning, growing and improving.
3. Follow through with excellence.
4. Go the extra mile
Competent people are those who:
1. Can see what needs to happen.
2. Can make it happen
3. Can make it happen when it really counts.
When was the last time we gave a task our absolute best even though nobody but us knew about it?
I might as well speak about Courage now since I'm here. :) I can't remember who said this but courage is not the lack of fear...it's doing what needs to be done even though you're afraid. The book said "There can be no courage unless you're afraid." Love this." And for all us "people pleasers" out there (me included) "Your dedication to potential must remain stronger than your desire to appease others." I use to think that my biggest fear was the fear of being publically embarrassed. I realized the other day the fear is really what do people think about me. This fear kept me paralyzed for years! It still trys to creep up on me daily. I think it's very important to identify our basic fear and then hit it head on every minute of every day. Fear comes out in different people in different ways; anger, abuse, timidity, wishy-washiness, depression, co-dependency, enabling, reclusiveness, etc.
ReplyDeleteProverbs 29:25
Fear of man will prove to be a snare,
but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe.
And finally, I like what Eleanor Roosevelt said, "You must do the thing you think you cannot do!"
For some reason I can't post under Competence in chapter 5. Soooooo I'm going to post about chapters 5 & 6 here :)
ReplyDeleteI have to admit I've never looked at the definition of competence this much. I love were it said People who are competent come ready to play every day - no matter how they feel, what kind of circumstance they face or how difficult they expect the game to be. Also the keep improving section. I guess I could just quote every part of this chapter. Again I love how it makes me take a step back & look at what I can improve on.
Chapter 6
Courage is fear that has said its prayers :)
Courage is doing what you're afraid to do.
Inward battle - Everyone is going to have a different level of courage. If I'm just walking through life & I'm always "comfortable" then I'm not challenging myself enough. As much as I hate the feeling of being nervous or "uncomfortable” I’m starting to realize if I'm not feeling it then I'm not challenging myself enough.
love you guys
Kelly